


Hold My Ebony//FFXV

by westsidestorytime



Category: FFXV - Fandom, Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Camping, Gen, I've also been drinking, Ignis Scientia is tired, Nerf Ignis, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, do you even lift bro, gladio is an instigator, just dudes being guys, noctis starts shit he can't finish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:48:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24069892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westsidestorytime/pseuds/westsidestorytime
Summary: Noctis and Prompto bet Ignis 100,000gil that he couldn’t deadlift Gladiolus… Insanity ensues.OR: Lyssi has cursed me to remember about this fever dream from 2 years ago, and now I can't stop thinking about this.This is set before the fall of Insomnia… You know, when things weren’t a venti double shot depresso espresso...
Comments: 8
Kudos: 47





	Hold My Ebony//FFXV

_ >>Some camping ground in Leide, sunset<< _

“Ugh! Forget it! He eats way too many Cup Noodles for us to even lift him!”

The resounding smack to the back of a certain blonde haired head could be heard, along with the collective groan of Prompto and Noctis as they gave up trying to deadlift Gladiolus.

“It's impossible!” Noctis vents out, “without some type of gravity magic, or a miracle, it’s impossible!” The prince tossed a stone far out into the wild from the side of the Haven.

“Well, maybe if you two woke up early and trained some more, you just might be able to. Someday.” The sound of Gladio’s deep laughter filled the campground, another collective groan following in its wake.

“Come on now, you two,” Ignis entered the conversation with a serving of their dinners in hand, “if you two _did_ actually wake up and train with us every once in a while, you very well could lift up Gladiolus. Easily, if I may add.” He placed his own plate down and opened up a can of Ebony coffee.

“Doubt it.” Noctis grumbled, forking a piece of his dinner into his mouth.

“Yeah!” Prompto whined in defense, “I bet you can’t even lift Gladio either, Ignis!”

Gladiolus laughed once again, “you probably would think that, but Ignis was trained just as hard as I was. In fact, I’m sure if he really wanted to, he could carry me bridal style across the battlefield!”

“Please,” Ignis sighed into his coffee, “let’s not put that into practice…” He smiled silently at the thought of carrying Gladiolus through a raging battle like a princess.

“ _Yeah, right_! There’s not a chance that Ignis could pull that off!” Noctis laughed, nearly dropping his plate, but recovering quickly before any food slipped off.

“Right, right! If Noct and I, _together_ , couldn’t lift him, there is no way you could, Ignis.” Prompto added, matter-of-factly.

Ignis and Gladiolus shared a look, the bodyguard smirked as Ignis just sighed dismissively once more, fixing his glasses on his face.

“Whatever you are thinking, Gladiolus, _please_ don’t,” Ignis pleaded flatly.

“No, no, Ignis! This is your good name we’re talking about here! You should show these crybabies what's for!” Gladio insisted, grinning wider.

“I hardly think that’s even necessary.” Ignis merely went back to sipping on his Ebony, brushing off the taunting attempt from Gladio.

“Alright, bet.” The prince challenged his bodyguard, “I think, no, I _know_ he couldn’t deadlift your big ass.” Noctis swiftly dodged a balled up napkin thrown by said bodyguard for the ‘big ass’ comment.

Ignis rolled his eyes and shook his head, “we are _not_ betting. Whatever you want to believe is up to you, Noctis.”

“What? You scared?” Noctis now challenged the adviser, causing the latter to stop sipping his Ebony.

“I beg your pardon?”

Off to the side, Prompto gasped, while Gladiolus had to stifle his laugh.

“I bet you 100,000gil you can’t lift Gladio.” Noctis stated, collective ‘ooh~’ could be heard from both Gladio and Prompto.

“I am _not_ going to carry Gladiolus, Noctis.”

“Mhm, because you _can’t_.”

Ignis’ eye twitched slightly, but he still wouldn’t give in to Noctis’ goading.

“Say what you wish, this ridiculous discussion is going nowhere.”

The chatter died down among the four, and a slightly discomforting silence settled in. Prompto awkwardly cleared his throat.

“Wait, wait, how are you even going to bet 100,000gil,” Gladio suddenly chimed in, “you’re broke!”

“I’ll just borrow it,” Noctis stated, “from Prompto.”

“Huh?! What,” Prompto choked on his food,”wait, who said I was paying?!”

“It’s fine, I’ll just pay you back later.”

“I don’t even have 100,000gil now!!”

Gladiolus was full body laughing at this point, “you can’t make bets with money you don’t have, dude!”

“Pfft,” the prince scoffed, “not like I’d have much to worry about anyway. Not only will he not do it, but the matter is he _can’t_ lift, bro.”

With a deep sigh, Ignis swiftly stood from his seat, almost startling the group a little, “alright, then.”

Noctis stared at Ignis curiously, while the adviser held out his can of Ebony to the blonde seated next to him.

“Hold my Ebony,” Ignis pushed his glasses to his face as Prompto quickly, but questioningly took the can from him.

“Oh, you did it now, Noct,” Gladio grinned, “he’s mad.”

“I am not mad.” Ignis grunted.

“He’s totally mad.” Prompto scooted away slightly.

“Why you mad, bro?” Noctis instigated.

Tense silence settled briefly, in the distance a pack of sabertusk howled signaling the approaching nightfall. Ignis stretched his arms out in front, cracking his knuckles menacingly. Gladiolus put his finished plate off to the side, an all knowing grin widened on his face as they all observed Ignis’ actions. He was becoming giddy.

“So 100,000gil is the bet, right, Noctis?” Ignis calmly said walking towards Gladio.

“Yeah, uhm,” the prince began unsure, “wait, what are you doing?”

“ _Teaching lessons_.”

“Wait, you’re not serious?? Ignis??”

Ignis glanced over to where the Regalia was parked on the side of the road, not far from the Haven campground. “The sun is still out for a good half hour; to the Regalia and back should be fine, right?” Ignis inquired, more so talking to himself than asking, walking over to where Gladio sat.

“Ignis, wait, are you being for real right now?” Noctis said in disbelief.

“Indeed,” Ignis looked to Gladio, “Gladiolus, if you would.”

“Give ‘em hell Specs!”

In a moment, where Gladio was once seated in his camping chair, he was now, quite flawlessly, being held in Ignis’ arms. Bridal style.

It took a few moments to process what was happening for Prompto and Noctis. Once reality hit, and they were both able to register exactly what was going on, Prompto began to screech, both in sheer disbelief and awe. Quickly stumbling over himself to grab his camera.

“No freaking way…” Noctis could only stare at the two men, jaw hitting the floor.

“Oh, _I’m not done_ ,” Ignis begins walking away from the campsite towards the direction of the Regalia. Gladiolus’ roaring laughter could be heard for miles.

Reaching the bottom of the Haven, Ignis continued his steady walk towards their vehicle without much difficulty. A few stray sabertusks took notice of something walking through the clearing, but when they went to investigate their next potential meal, they were met with the intimidating sight walking towards the road. They whimpered slightly in fear before dashing back towards the direction they came.

“What is happening?? _What is happening_?!” Noctis shouted as he watched Ignis carry Gladiolus to the Regalia like they were newlyweds about to drive off into the sunset towards their honeymoon. Prompto was still making odd screeching noises as he took photos of the whole ordeal.

Upon making it to the Regalia, Ignis let out a long, frustrated sigh.

“Oho, getting tired Specs? How unlike you.” Gladio laughed, still tucked quite comfortably in Ignis’ arms.

“Quite the opposite,” Ignis replied, annoyed, “I just can’t believe I let their words actually get to me. Was my ego really so fragile?”

Gladio grinned up to him, “well, maybe now they’ll actually take training a bit more seriously!”

“ _Right_ ,” Ignis huffed out a laugh, “silver linings, I suppose.”

Not missing a beat, Ignis turned away from the Regalia and began the short trek back to the Haven, carrying Gladiolus with no difficulty over to their comrades.

“...” Noctis couldn’t find his words, he was beyond flabbergasted at what just happened, and honestly, quite intimidated, “I… I don’t know what to do with this information. How should I feel about this?”

Prompto was visibly shaken, going through his camera reel when Ignis and Gladio came back.

“Serves you punks right!” Gladiolus rubbed it in as Ignis gracefully let him stand on his own again.

“He’s not a _behemoth_ like you! How should we have known!” The prince whined out, having a smack to the back of his head from his Shield for the ‘behemoth’ comment.

“And this is precisely why,” Ignis brushes off his shoulders and adjusts his attire a bit, “you two need to prioritize training more. This isn’t a luxury vacation.”

“You carried Gladio! Like he weighed nothing!” Prompto shoved the camera into Ignis’ face, “ _like a princess_!”

"Yes, we've established this, Prompto." Ignis sighed.

Gladiolus placed his hand under his chin, smiling at the photos, “hey, not bad.”

“Thank you.”

“Well, you two know what this means, right?” Gladio gave a toothy smirk, staring at Prompto and Noctis, “you two either need to cough up that 100,000gil--”

“ _But we’re broke_!”

“--OR,” Gladio continued without missing a beat, “you two will need to get up early with us every day and train.”

The prince groaned, “gods, your training sucks!” He received yet another smack to the back of the head.

“Well? What is it gonna be?”

“Ugh, can’t I just give you an IOU?”

“A bet is a bet, your Highness.” Gladio gave him a smug look, Noctis rolled his eyes and scratched his head in frustration.

“ _Fine_!” the prince shouted in defeat, “we’ll do your stupid training!”

“Wonderful,” Ignis picks up his can of Ebony and begins to sip on it once more, “you’ll start now, by cleaning up dinner. Then you’ll help with breakfast.”

“Aww, man.” Prompto groaned.

“How is that even considered training?!” Noctis complains.

"As they say," Ignis smirked, " _get good_."

**Author's Note:**

> Please, I hope this has brought you all some joy during these times. I also hope Lyssi's itch is resting.
> 
> Thank you~
> 
> P.S. somebody please nerf Ignis Scientia, he's too powerful


End file.
